I mean Ashley Olsen is just asking for it. The Olsen twins are about the size of tooth picks (and I mean their height this time) … any petite woman just should never carry a bag larger than a typical suitcase.

Biish, please.

Here we agree that this is the classiest, most currently-fabulous color for Hermès Birkin bag leather. On that … fake face, fake boobs, fake Christian, on that Haughty MeBrag, or some name; Heidi Montag. Me gag.

Shouldn’t she be poor or only affording fake bags (too) by now??

Angelina Jolie on the set of The Tourist 3/16

Lady Gaga traveled the other day, cross country no less (She’s seen here in Sydney, Australia), with beverage containers right on display (Diet Coke cans, hehe) … yes, flew the unfriendly skies this way. I think her cans were checked rigorously. Like her great body’s can is checked feverishly.

Bow headband + cameo = Lindsay Lohan‘s headband above. But what about the forehead-placement?

Shop my headband pick at Forever 21.

Looking pretty in hot pink lipstick with a great leather short-handle hobo

Well, not intelligent bright, although who knows if she actually wasn’t.

But Jessica Simpson is looking fab again, coming back into the spotlight with her own new reality show on VH1; The Price of Beauty, and she’s snapping back at Johnson Maywhore, who said she is “sexual napalm” (which is apparently a good thing).

On Monday’s The View, she sad,

“And he’ll never have this napalm again.”

Maybe she should give that DB, John Mayer, a sexual fight, or war. She could blow him and blow him up for good.

I actually hope all ladies would tell John “NAY!” and he’d have to be with his own palm.

View the fashionable pictures below.

Crazy Eyes

It was rumored that Spent-his-15 Prattle, I mean, Spencer Pratt left The Hills. But why would he?

Nope, as the Holly-World turns … out, he was asked to take a leave from The Hills in punishment over an incident caused by his crazy/mad/angry mouth (and eyes, I’m sure, those crazy eyes). Read the story on Us Weekly.

Oh, I hadn’t even known Ms. Spears was set up to tour, and here she has finished her debut show (of the Circus tour) in New Orleans. (Aren’t the two kind of a hot-mess pair? Oh sorry—to New Orleans.)

Britney’s back dancing and taking part in her other infamous spectacle—-the fuggest clothing in all of music.

At least her bod’s pretty rockin’. Keep up the dance moves, Brit.

Enjoy this gallery of a fugly freak show! Complete with snarky comments to each pic! (A new feature from Hollywouldn’t.)

Photo credit: WireImage

Britney Spears in hypno-boob-itard.

Pasties. Tassel-y pasties. I guess Brit’s not fit enough for—oh yeah maybe that’s just too tacky for 27 year old Spears? Then
Pasties. Tassel-y pasties. I guess Brit’s not fit enough for—oh yeah maybe that’s just too tacky for 27 year old Spears? Then again, could be the 27-year-old body.

This is just unfortunate.

J-Lo, but in thighs?

Wack. Job.

Interesting shoes.

She did look hot in this metal leotard. But also like a robot.

She’s like the ring-leader, she calls the shots. She should be shot for approving that shoulder fur.

“I don’t want to have sex with him or Ann Coulter.”

Barbara Walters on The View