Britney, why so down?

I mean, wear a bra - always.

Here ya go! Courtesy of Sarah Jean Snarker & Kiss My Starse–

Britney Spears can’t stop with the hats! She’s addicted to them, and … I think she’s in love with them!

Britney appears to be turned on by the hat - she’s groping her own breasts! … More photos after the fold. More, more, more »

Paris Hilton bending over to show cheek.

Or, ya know, do. It’s fun.

Here she is in the same paparazzi shoot looking suspiciously fake:

Paris Hilton Shows off Designer Freebie

Here Paris shows off her unmistakably Chanel clutch. This is obviously for promoting her freebie, with some real-life endorsement deal with the house. I’ve never seen such an obvious pose as Paris was doing here (more photos below).

Ahh..

Cute dress, cute shoes.. Paris, I love you. I actually do like you. Sigh, I’m sick.

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And we all thought Uma Thurman was sexy? Good act she put on, I’d hire her in my next film. Oh but probably still not for the role of any attractive woman anymore, no, the image of this has ruined Uma in all our eyes. Am I wrong?

Her breasts sag so low, she looks exactly like my Nana.

And WHOOPS! Poppin’ out!

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Our visual aid for this lesson will be Courtney Love. Thank you, Courtney Love, and may I congratulate you on your slim-down - but we’re here to tell you that you have work yet to do before allowing yourself to be photographed any further in swimsuits - ya hear? Let us explain …

When an overweight body loses fat, it keeps extra skin. (The sound of children ewwing) Yes I know. I’m not sure what can be done about that for most people, but for the rich, isn’t there some procedure? Now, it also keeps extra thin layers of fat on the surface, but this is the easiest to get rid of. Actually, a “procedure” for THAT is liposuction, but this is also the fat that can be exercised away via weight/strength training. (Am I wrong?) Get toned, trim, fit … not just smaller - before exposing yourself in revealing swimsuits.

I will say one of your recent suits, Courtney, was much better (the last) - but you still have work to do! Now wait and study these images…

Got it?? Ready? Go!

Source 1, Source 2, Source 3

And it’s about frickin’ time!

See video below by Us Magazine of Britney Spears’s bodyguard detaining a paparazzo.

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