2007 proves to be the year of the Nipple Gate (watch out Janet Jackson). I have to document it officially, but with new nipple slips every. single. day. I need to figure out the best way to do it (thoughts?) Anyway, here is Britney Spears who really doesn’t know how to cover up. Not only is her very sheer blouse showing her dark areola, but she’s got some sort of stain from dinner on it. She doesn’t care though, no! She’s just smilin’ away!

People should learn. Perhaps some can’t. I’m not saying Britney is stupid, but I’d love for a doctor or old teacher to come out to the press and do it. Okay, I WILL say it — moron! Here’s another photo of her areola, just for fun. (NSFW)

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He now claims he was just kidding.

But is joking about snorting your deceased father’s ashes also a sign of severe mental troubles? Who could make that sh*t up?! He probably actually snorted other strange things, like laundry detergent, garlic salt, and women’s bronzer. And he probably actually stared at his dad’s remains, longing during his desperate crashes. Seriously, wtf*?

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I don’t want to even to over-talk about it, it’s just so bad. Here goes: Keith Richards snorted his own father’s ashes with some blow, as he revealed himself as being the “strangest” thing he’s ever done. Keith Richards is one sick mofo! That’s the strangest thing he’s ever done? I think that tops the case over all Americans! What a freaking loon!
Punchlines:

• That’s one way to suck up to Pop.
• Keith apparently got the last laugh, a real on-top-of-the-world, coke-high hearty one.
• Doesn’t this make Richards a cannibal? And would this count as an incestuous cannibal?
• I guess the Stones didn’t make him as rich as we might think, Keith Richards had to resort to mixing in his dear late father’s ashes with his blow.

In related news, Richards was so off his rocker throughout his life that he enjoyed being watched by fans for possibly at any second dropping off the face of the Earth. When he got healthier, he was disappointed to be off that “top” list of sorts.

I guess it’s some achievement that you look like you’re a corpse ten years into death already, Keith, don’t worry, you’re winning that contest by far!

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Meet the Bombshell Babes, a burlesque-clad group like the Pussycat Dolls, but these babes perform not by singing, but with acrobatics.

Let me tell you, that’s even hotter than dancing and singing about being a nasty skank. (”Loosen up my buttons, babe.”)

Check the proof below, as Carmen Electra joins to be their celebrity guest.

Click on thumbnails for large:

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Stacy Ferguson (Not Sarah Ferguson) reportedly told the UK’s Mirror that she had lesbian flings at eighteen. She apparently rebelled against her Catholic upbringing, which drove her into lesbian sex and drugs. The Black Eyed Peas star also said she is a “very sexual person” and won’t name the number of men she has slept with.

Fergie also stars in the current hit, Grindhouse, playing a lesbian. Hmm.

OK I don’t care about how many men she slept with, how did that even get into the article? Dodgy dodgy. It’s not that I wish to be with Fergie myself, her slightly unfortunate face seals OUT that deal, but look below, her bod’s pretty hot, and don’t we all just want to hear more about this? Get her on Howard Stern, talk to Playboy - something!

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Reports are that famed porn star, Jenna Jameson, is missing meetings about making her book (wow, Jameson making money off her mind+fingers?), How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, into a movie (porn or regular?). The reason behind her disappearance is that she may have had a botched vagina job.

A source says,

“She underwent a vaginoplasty at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and she is very unhappy,” said the source, who added, in perhaps an unfortunate choice of words, “she has decided to hole up and not speak to anybody. The producers are about to pull the plug on the movie,” which would be a mainstream production.

Wow, I can’t believe Jenna would go to drastic measure to change what obviously works for her, in more ways than one. Guys aren’t too picky with these things, and I’m sure all around the modern world, “film” watchers love her bits.

But what now that her down there is all messed up? More surgery, retirement … more authoring? *Shudder* Kiddies, this is proof that you don’t fix what ain’t broke!

Lesson #2 - It’s just plain fun to have spell check catch “vaginoplasty,” so at least for the bloggers, no news is bad news!

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And it’s about frickin’ time!

See video below by Us Magazine of Britney Spears’s bodyguard detaining a paparazzo.

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