You might want to check out Heidi Montag on the beach in a low-cut dress and pink bikini.

However, she’s a singer now and this is her low, low, low budget music video. Trust me, you must put this on mute if you watch.

On second thought, once she starts singing, it gets really unsexy. I’d rather listen to Minnie Mouse. In fact, a video like this, but with Minnie might be pretty funny. This one, not even funny it’s so bad, unfortunately.

Still, the first several seconds are kind of hot!

Britney, why so down?

I mean, wear a bra - always.

Here ya go! Courtesy of Sarah Jean Snarker & Kiss My Starse–

To the right is Britney Spears having recently toned her abs back up to their peak fitness. Good for her! I’m so proud. Has she done this through dance exercise? Makes ya think huh. I went off to You Tube for my own work out instruction via dance steps videos, like for Britney’s Oops! I Did it Again. I highly recommend making it apart of your daily routine if you need to get in shape at all.

If you can’t dance, it’s all the better - you’ll work harder. A song like Oops! is good because it’s fast paced (Spice Girls, say, would be okay for your beginning days, though) and moderately difficult.

OK well I’ve got to fall over dead now! I’ll let you know if I lose weight, too!

Pamela Anderson was spotted on the beach recently, and boy is her boob job a bad one.

Her nipples are there. and there.

And what’s this?

Shexy.

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Paris Hilton bending over to show cheek.

Or, ya know, do. It’s fun.

Here she is in the same paparazzi shoot looking suspiciously fake:

Paris Hilton Shows off Designer Freebie

Here Paris shows off her unmistakably Chanel clutch. This is obviously for promoting her freebie, with some real-life endorsement deal with the house. I’ve never seen such an obvious pose as Paris was doing here (more photos below).

Ahh..

Cute dress, cute shoes.. Paris, I love you. I actually do like you. Sigh, I’m sick.

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Lindsay, beautiful:

But she proved she’s an odd, slow (you know what I mean) mess when she gave an interview via Blackberry to GQ Magazine.

Love the ending. Poor Marshall. And poor those two new puppies! Yikes.

(No harm has YET been done to the puppies, but it’s Miss Lohan.)

That face … lost all its appeal for me. She’s blossoming fully into Donnatella Versace.

 Source: Maxim

And we all thought Uma Thurman was sexy? Good act she put on, I’d hire her in my next film. Oh but probably still not for the role of any attractive woman anymore, no, the image of this has ruined Uma in all our eyes. Am I wrong?

Her breasts sag so low, she looks exactly like my Nana.

And WHOOPS! Poppin’ out!

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2007 proves to be the year of the Nipple Gate (watch out Janet Jackson). I have to document it officially, but with new nipple slips every. single. day. I need to figure out the best way to do it (thoughts?) Anyway, here is Britney Spears who really doesn’t know how to cover up. Not only is her very sheer blouse showing her dark areola, but she’s got some sort of stain from dinner on it. She doesn’t care though, no! She’s just smilin’ away!

People should learn. Perhaps some can’t. I’m not saying Britney is stupid, but I’d love for a doctor or old teacher to come out to the press and do it. Okay, I WILL say it — moron! Here’s another photo of her areola, just for fun. (NSFW)

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Meet the Bombshell Babes, a burlesque-clad group like the Pussycat Dolls, but these babes perform not by singing, but with acrobatics.

Let me tell you, that’s even hotter than dancing and singing about being a nasty skank. (”Loosen up my buttons, babe.”)

Check the proof below, as Carmen Electra joins to be their celebrity guest.

Click on thumbnails for large:

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