Ok, I don’t know what the weather is like where all of you live, but here in my neck of the woods, it’s hot. Not just hot, but record-breaking temperature hot. The kind of hot where you walk outside and can barely take a breath because you feel so oppressed.

So, I thought I would take a tip from Mariah Carey and hire someone to follow me around with an umbrella and provide some portable shade to keep me looking fresh as a daisy in the overwhelming heat.

Unfortunately, the only person I could find actually out in this weather was the semi- crazy guy who hangs out by the train station in my neighborhood. So, after explaining what I wanted to hire him to do, he seemed to understand and I confidently handed over my oversized beach umbrella.

An hour later, after I caught him gnawing on the umbrella handle a few times and he had done his best Gene Kelly “Dancing in the Rain” routine about ten times, I realized my plan had taken a wrong turn.

So, needless to say, I paid him the pre-negotiated price of two Hershey bars, a pack of Marlboros and a Slim Jim and went on my way with the sun beating down on me and no shade in sight. It’s so hard to find good help these days…

Photo Source: People