In a brilliantly witty public letter to Victoria Beckham, who’s clearly ex Posh, Us Magazine .com pleaded with the footballer’s wife to support her puppies.
Dear Victoria “Posh†Beckham,
We just have to get this off our chest: There is nothing Posh about forgetting to wear a bra when gallivanting about in thin T-shirts, as you’ve unfortunately been known to do.
It is obvious to us that the bra may be a foreign concept to you – much like American football, or the good sense to avoid Tom Cruise – so allow us to explain: You’re a 32-year-old woman with perky breasts that apparently like to breathe. But keep shunning that bra and in five years you’ll end up with pendulums hanging off your clavicle that hubby David Beckham might mistake for soccer ball bags.
We’re really looking out for you best interests … so we hope you’ll keep our advice close to your heart.
Sincerely,
There’s just one mistake there, Vickie’s breasts are absolutely fake (as plainly evidenced in the below photos). There’s no sagging, and there will be no gravity reaping its punishments in five years time. (Don’t worry, girls, her boobs are not cute.) But what that does mean is there is no stopping the marble-sized razor-sharp nipples from nearly pushing holes through those thin tees.
Yes, indeed, do undie up Posh. This from a girl who usually likes boobies.
November 24th, 2007 at 11:52 am
I couldn’t find a place to write the authors of the website, so I think i’ll just post my thoughts and feelings in a comment, and then this will be the last all you twits hear from me -
My four year old nephew put together a site better than this yesterday. It even has color coordination that relates to the 21st century. If I felt like looking at a webpage that resembled a ten gallon tub of neopolotin ice cream covered in shitty writting… well, I guess this is the best place to go.
Oh, and to whoever actually “writes” (I use the term loosely) this blog, using no humor at all would be MUCH MUCH MUCH more bareable than having to painfully read your poor, pathetic attempts at levity.
I hate Perez Hilton, and especially Trent, but after nearly vomitting on my laptop when seeing the utter chaos that is this website, I sure have grown to love them much more. Thanks! I’ll never be back!